Identity/Family Roles
Are you experiencing conflicts with your identity/ROLES?
Here are signs that you may be experiencing some conflict:
You feel like something is off
You want to do something different but feel stuck
You worry about abandoning your family/community
You worry about what others will think and how they will react to your changes
You feel guilty/selfish when thinking about putting your needs first
You feel nervous because you want to do something different
You think you’re “bad” for not being grateful for what you have
What’s going on?
We are all part of a community, big or small.
In those communities, families or groups, the expectations and the opinions people have of us may impact how we interact with the world, and how we perceive ourselves.
Our culture, society and our values all shape how we think about ourselves, and feel about ourselves.
We may end up feeling unsure about what we want compared to what is expected of us. We may think “this is what I’ve always done, so I should just continue to do this” even if it may not be ideal anymore. Or you have certain ideas about yourself and how you’re “supposed” to be, and you’re struggling to let those ideas and expectations go.
Maybe you thought you always had to be the hard working person who doesn’t complain about anything. Perhaps you’ve been putting everyone else’s needs ahead of yours, and you want a slight change. Maybe you want to find a balance in taking care of yourself, while still taking care of others.
But there’s this fear of making a change; you may be afraid of failing or getting rejected. You may worry that when you are making some changes for yourself, that means you’re abandoning people in your life, such as your family. However, that may not necessarily be true.
We’re all evolving and changing all the time. You can modify, or adapt your values and roles and shape them into something that might fit better with what you need now.
What I Can Help You With
When we work together, we can explore the different ideas, values, and expectations that you have, and sort out what’s important to you.
There is no right or wrong answer, and there are no absolutes. You can freely explore and discuss your ideas/values, change your minds about them, and feel however you feel about them as long as they work for you.
It is important to make space for these conflicting feelings. Otherwise, you’ll continue to feel pulled in different directions, stressed, and uncertain. You have a choice in deciding how you want to proceed with your life, your interactions, and your identity.
